Ok...so the inevitable is coming.  I'm going to be a year older on the 3rd of May and it's killing me.  It feels wierd.  I think I'm associating my chronological age with how I feel about myself.  Maybe the key to not feeling this way is to just stop celebrating the number as opposed to celebrating my life and my achievements.  There are key moments in my life that I remember feeling wierd about...for instance, I remember when I was in elementary school (I think it was fifth grade) I couldn't get myself to remember that it was already 1990.  I kept writing 1989 on my assignments...I would write the correct month and day but it was just the year that I kept writing incorrectly.  Then there was the time that I turned twenty.  I woke up feeling something wierd and throughout the day I kept telling people who asked me that it just felt wierd to be twenty.  I couldn't figure it out until my day was almost over...it was the fact that I would never have the word -teen attached to my age.  I know it sounds silly now but it felt like I was missing something.  Turning twenty-one was nothing.  I didn't have anything to look forward to like everyone else looks forward to drinking...I had already been drinking for years...you know an occassional beer here and there so it was nothing to actually turn twenty-one.  I think now, it's just traumatizing to think that I'm a year closer to being thirty!  When I was little I remember looking at my older cousins and thinking they were old...now I'm the age that they were back then and I still think being this age is being old. 

The other day when I was thinking about my birthday I started remembering allllll those hair styles and clothing styles that I wore...mostly because I was my family's little doll to dress and style however they pleased.  Lordy!  If you could only see those pictures you would be laughing your head off.  Remember back in the 80's, early 90s when it was 'in' to wear your bangs like a fluffy satelite dish?  Well, I would have one of those appear on my forehead whenever we went out.  I have this picture where we had gone to the carnival and my hair was styled in that way but get this...I was also wearing a jean jumpsuit!  I don't know why my family ever thought that looked cool.  I have tons of pictures where my sister and I are dressed up like twins.  We're a year apart but that didn't stop my family from dressing us up that way.  I think we spent most of our elementary years wearing similar, if not exactly the same, dresses.  My mom went through this phase where all she would do with our hair is put it into two braided ponytails and then she would dress us up in fluffy dresses and take pictures of us all over the place.  We looked super cute like that but I don't know if I would subject any child to that kind of love.  I know...you're probably thinking "I want to see those pictures!"  Well, I'll show you mine if you show me yours!  It's only fair!